Saturday, January 23, 2010

Death and dying are so out of style...

I just wanted the universe to know that, in my life, death and dying are no longer the "in" thing for 2010. That was so 2009...

At the beginning of last year, January 2009, my Grandma Joy died. She was the grandma that took care of my after I was born since my mom had cancer. She developed Alzheimer's about 10 years before she died, so although she is very missed, her poor mortal body was ready to go Home.

This last semester, Fall 2009, I was assigned to work as a Skilled Nursing Facility for a school internship. Although I loved working with the geriatric population, at least 4 of my clients died over the three month period. It was really hard to go through that, having to deal with clients that I couldn't help get better, no matter how much I tried and wanted it.

And now, my Grandma Bowen has passed away. She got pneumonia earlier this week, but I didn't think it would be so soon that we would lose her. I found out this afternoon, about an hour after I got back from going to the temple with my friend Bridgid. My last living grandma passed away early this morning.

It's been over ten years since her husband, my Grandpa Bowen, passed away. She was lonely and wanted to go Home. I'm happy that they're finally together again. But I'm filled with regret. Regret that I didn't call her as much as a should. Regret that I didn't do more to help fill that lonely void. Regret that I didn't learn more about her life, about her experiences, about her family. Now that she's gone, there are so many memories that are lost to those of us left behind until we go Home someday. And I regret that I didn't do more as an adult to preserve those memories and develop a closer relationship with her.

I am grateful that I got to know her well enough to love her and feel this regret. Although I missed out on the opportunity to do so in this life, thank goodness for the Plan of Happiness that allows me a second chance to get to know my Grandma Bowen in the next!

Good night, my Grandma Bowen! I hope you and Grandpa Bowen are happily reunited and are learning to sow the seeds of the eternities! I can't wait to see both of you again someday and am excited to get to know you so much better then!

4 comments:

Telima said...

Audrei, I'm so sorry. Tell your mom that we love her and thinking of her and your whole family.

jenknee99 said...

I feel the same as you do Cuz. I'm so happy that she is with Grandpa Bowen now though, where she has wanted to be for years.

Brittanie said...

I'm sorry honey. It's hard to lose someone you love. I'm so grateful for the gospel and the peace it brings though.

Big hugs to you and your family. ((hugs))

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